That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
