There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
