I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
