Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
