Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
