It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
