Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
