I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
