Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
