The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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