I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
