we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
