so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
