i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
