So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Randomize
