Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
