Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
