Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
