Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize