Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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