Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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