It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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