It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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