i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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