I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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