dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
