My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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