I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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