I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
