and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize