I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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