so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
