NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
