I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
pop tarts are not kleenex
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
