nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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