he shaved USA in his pubs
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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