would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
