i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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