so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
