I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
there is glitter all over my balls
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
