i would punch a child for taco bell
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
