when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize