To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
