I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
