u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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