but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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