Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
