after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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