Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
