Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize