is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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