Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I could fuck to npr.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
