we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize