can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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