I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
