She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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