I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
