Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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