What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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