Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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