So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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