he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
