don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
