do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
