Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
we made out on top of his cat.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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