when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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