that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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