Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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