I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
