i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
