neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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