the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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