Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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