ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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