She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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