Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
