who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
